Aishiteru (i love you)
by foxyeyes
Summary: it's been two weeks since the war has ended. Naruto, Kakashi and Sasuke died heroically, though leaving Sakura all by herself. many of her other friends died,too. she has no one left and she can't handle it. she has an awful nostalgia and she's slowly going crazy. let's see how she ends up...
1. Chapter 1

The night was quite. The moon was shining bright. No sounds, just the leaves and the trees rustling. She sat there alone, on the edge of her window. Her pink hair was hanging lifelessly on her back. The wind played with it and the moonlight made it shine. Tears rolled down her cheeks and fell on her knees. The teardrops shone and looked like little diamonds. She was startling, gorgeous and extremely beautiful. But she didn't care about her appearance at that very moment. She was broke, torn apart, sick from the whole world, suicidal, desperate, hurt, miserable, wrecked and wounded. She wished she could go back and change her life or tell herself what she knew now. Her heart ached and she was alone, there was no one for her to calm her down and comfort her. She was holding a picture in her hands on her knees. It was a picture of three kids and a man. They seemed happy, though one of the kids looked too serious and troublesome; the other one was looking at him with anger ready to beat him up any time. Between the guys was a girl with pink hair and a big forehead. Also there was a man with white hair and a mask standing above them, who was totally having fun. You could guess that the girl with pink hair on the picture was the same girl who was holding the picture, although, she was older. She stared at the picture for a long time with bloodshot eyes. Suddenly, she smiled and looked up at the sky. It was clear, no clouds, just the stars. It was beautiful. She wiped away her tears and put a crooked smile over her face. She remembered something. Something or _someone_ that made her smile and brought back amazing memories. She raised her head and leaned towards the window. Her red eyes filled with tears were sore. She was exhausted but couldn't sleep. She was hurt and broken but she couldn't cry anymore. She wanted to keep believing but hope was gone. She wanted to see their smiles again. She wanted to hug them, hug them tight and never let go. She wanted to hear their voices and laughs. She wanted to be happy again. She wanted to meet them again for even a little while and tell them everything she thought and always wanted to say but wasn't brave enough. She wanted to tell them how much she loved and admired them, how much she respected them and how priceless they were. She could still hear them saying: "Believe it!" "Dobe!" "Sorry guys, I'm late!"

She smiled. She could still hear them saying those words. She remembered every single thing they've said. Sometimes they weren't too pleasant but she still loved the way they spoke.

'Kakashi-sensei…' she whispered with a breaking voice as her teacher's face appeared before her eyes and she recalled all the things he taught her and how he made squad 7 a real team and taught them what actual teamwork is.

'Sasuke…!' she said a bit louder and angrier as she saw his face and remembered everything they've gone through in order to find him and bring him back.

'Naruto!' she yelled so loud her throat ached. She was his face clearly. She saw the way he walked with her, like a real hero should. She recalled how he saved her a million times and how he improved. She saw how he grew every day, how he started form the bottom as an outcast and a loser and how he worked hard as hell to achieve success, how he ended up as the hero of all heroes. She screamed. She couldn't handle it, she wasn't strong. She understood how he loved her more than herself and how she never returned his love and how she ignored him for so many years. How she never thanked him for believing in her and being there for her always. Even now she could feel his hand on her shoulder, his warm look in his deep blue eyes and his bright smile.

'Thank you… Thank you so much… I hope you're happy and you see the way people admire you… you're the heroes of the Hidden Leaf and the whole world. You three will always remain in people's hearts. I just want you to know… I … love … you… so… so much, you don't know! I wish you were here, with me. So I could hug you and we could be happy together… but it is okay I guess. You'll stay in my heart forever and that's the most important.'

She said as she brought the picture closer to her chest and leaned to the window. She hugged the picture tight and looked up at the sky, tears rolling down her cheeks. She smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Warning!**_

_**Read this while listening to a sad song. I'm a horrible romantic and I can't write tragedies (or anything else) but to make it seem less terrible I recommend you:**_

_**FFH- Undone (or type Itachi-Love and Honor in YouTube and watch the video)**_

_**Emeli Sande- Read all about it (part lll)**_

_**The script- Hall of fame**_

_**Little Mix- Little me**_

_**Thank you for attention, I won't bother you anymore. **_

'Sakura-Chan! Wanna have a date tonight, at the Ichiraku Ramen?' a blonde little boy with a bright, encouraging smile was grinning widely at me, with his hands towards me, trying to reach me.

'Stop acting like an idiot, Dobe!' a raven-haired guy was standing next to the blond, with a serious face, glaring at the other boy.

'Are you ready for the next mission?' an older man yelled coming towards them. He was wearing a mask but you could see the happiness in his eyes.

'Hai!' both boys yelled suddenly and ran towards the man. They stopped and all three of them waved at me with huge smiles. All of a sudden, they turned away and started running. I wanted to yell so they would wait for me, but no sounds came out of my throat. So, I just watched them run. But something was gradually changing, the sunlight darkened and they're backs grew; like they've grown themselves. All of a sudden, they stopped with their backs towards me. They changed: their hair, clothes, even the air around them had changed. I felt so small and useless compared to them. The boy in the middle with raven hair began slowly walking away, into the void and started fading bit by bit, eventually his silhouette disappeared. I don't know why, but I felt something burning me from the inside, slowly eating me. Then, the man with white hair started vanishing and becoming a pale blur. I felt my heart being cut into hundred pieces. But the boy with blonde hair stood there, making me feel protected and safe. His whole body lightened up and shone with amazing enthusiasm and kindness. The boy turned around, he was still smiling but I saw the grief, sorrow and pain in the corners of his sapphire-color eyes. He raised his arm and put his thumb up; showing me it was all right. I slowly walked to him and raised my hand to catch his but all at once, he disappeared. The only light in my eyes was gone without a single sign or word. I looked around with my eyes filling with tears, it was dark and lonely. I was fading into oblivion, I knew it. I started running as fast as possible.

'Too late, Sakura… too late' I heard someone's soft voice telling me it's too late. 'Why are you in your clothes and lying on the floor anyways?' the voice asked, I was confused… What?

'Sakuuuuraaaaa…. Wake up, it's so late! It's time to get up!' a woman's voice rang in my ears. I opened my eyes.

'Oh yes… good morning…' I mumbled

'Not good morning, but good evening! It's 4.30 already! Have you stayed up again?' my mom, of course, who else? I don't have anyone left. And I guess that was just a dream, or a nightmare to be certain. Oh, no… not now, I can't let myself cry now! Mom won't understand me and will send me to the psychologist again! I don't need one…

Moving on…

'Sakura, your friends called. He wanted to know how you're doing.' Mom was sitting on my bed.

'Who was it?' I asked yawning and stretching.

'I think it was Hinata. She was stuttering and talking really quietly.'

'Yeah, that's surely Hinata.' I sat up, my head was dizzy and felt awfully heavy. 'I'll call her later.' my head was filling up with terrible memories.

_Inner self: Poor Hinata, she lost Naruto right after she confessed to him! I hope she's fine. I'm so selfish! I only thought about my own pain and didn't think how much others went through. She loved Naruto way more than me. I shall apologize…_

'Do you want me to bring you your breakfast here?' mom stood up and walked up to me.

'No… I'll have dinner, straight away. It's too late for breakfast. And I have to hurry up; I must be at the hospital at 6.'

Yeah, I almost forgot. I'm Sakura Haruno. I'm almost 19 and I am a professional medical ninja. I work at Hidden Leaf's hospital. Sometimes, I go on missions with groups as a medic, but that happens rarely, because as you might have noticed my team doesn't exist anymore. It's been a while since the war ended and things are going quite well for the village, but my agony and pain don't stop.

'Lady Tsunade said you can stay home this week, you worked too hard the other week.' My mom spoke in a voice, in which you speak to a 4 year old crying kid who won't shut up. I got furious: everyone- even my mom and Lady Tsunade- thought I was weak and wasn't able to get over the tragedy. In fact, I still haven't recovered but it doesn't mean everyone should treat me like a sick-in-the-head kid!

'It's okay.' I mumbled and rushed to my closet. 'I'll go.' I put on some clothes and stormed out of the room. I slid down the stairs and raged into the kitchen. I swallowed some food and pills and ran to the doorway.

DING, DONG! (Doorbell)

I opened the door. Neji and Ten-Ten were standing at the threshold. They were holding flowers and sweets. Both of them were wearing Black clothes.

'We're going to the funeral and thought, you might need a lift.' Neji said in a low, calm voice.

'Oh is already Tuesday?' I was shocked. I had been so worried and miserable that I was completely lost and didn't know what day it was. 'Oh, sure! Just give me a second!' I yelled, madly blushing I closed the door right in front of their faces and rushed upstairs. I put on my funeral dress, made my hair and put makeup; I grabbed my bag and the flowers and hurried back to the door. I opened the door fast and idiotically smiled at the pair.

'Sakura… are you okay?' Ten-Ten asked me nervously.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go.' I said and crossed the threshold. I was so anxious I had forgotten to prepare a speech. We sat in a car, a black limo actually. Ten-Ten and Neji sat together; I sat in front of them. My hands were sweating and I was rubbing them fretfully. My face was red and my whole body was burning, my blood was boiling inside of my veins and I heard my heart beating like a church bell.

'Sakura…' Ten-Ten whispered with her voice breaking and trembling. Her face was worried; her eyes were staring at me pitifully. A teardrop sparkled in the corners of her chocolate eyes. Her hair was done perfectly, her usual buns had turned into long, loose, thick, smooth coffee-colored locks; her make-up was natural and suited her ideally. A black, long dress was covering her high-heels, though the material was very thin and I could see her flawless, skinny legs. The dress had a décolleté, making her really attractive. Her outfit was completed with a very expensive bag and diamond earrings. I looked like a shade compared to her. I was wearing a short, black, sleeveless dress. It had a thin, almost unnoticeable belt. My hair was messy; I was wearing no accessories except a little black bag. I was wearing casual, black shoes without heels. Moreover, my make-up was a catastrophe: I had used too much lip-gloss, my mascara was awful and didn't suit me at all, I also messed up the eye-shadows and now they were dark green and put hastily in the wrong parts of my eyes. I looked like a tramp compared to Ten-Ten. Furthermore, she had a real gentleman on her side. Neji looked grand: a black suit and tie. His shirt was ironed idyllically; his golden watch was shining on his left wrist. His long hair was combed. Both of them were gorgeous. I looked at them with miserable eyes; I actually envied them. Though, I was really happy for them. I stared at them for a while. Then I lowered my eyes, I looked down at the floor. I thought about Sasuke. We could have been this way, too. We could have been a magnificent pair. We would love each other boundlessly. Tears rushed to my eyes, but I fought them and raised my head. I must not show people how broken I am, I'll show them how strong I am! I looked at Ten-Ten and smiled as brightly as I could. Ten-Ten leaned backwards and gasped quietly. Neji's confused face almost broke me but I held on. Suddenly, Neji leaned forward and took my hand in his. I almost exploded: Kakashi-Sensei had done the same before the war started. I almost felt him touching me and telling me it was going to be fine. All three of them used to tell me the same all the time. Only now I understood how much they cared and how they tried to protect me. They had always been trying to prevent me from danger or nervousness. I was always in their way, like a heavy baggage you have to carry everywhere and is just a useless nuisance but you have no choice but to carry it and –

'Sakura, I know what you're thinking.' Neji said in a strong voice, not letting go off my hand. 'But you're wrong. You're not worthless; you were a vital part of their lives. You were everything to them. And they would want you to be happy. They would want you to keep living and moving on. Naruto would have gone crazy if he found out you stopped living and were depressed because of him. And you know all of this better than me. I know you're strong, everyone knows. But even strong people have their limits. You know what Johnny Depp said?' he stopped as though waiting for an answer. I was silent, still looking down at the floor. 'He said: "People don't cry because they're weak, but because they've been strong for too long." Sometimes you must cry. It's the only way you can get over it someday. Maybe not today, not tomorrow but someday you'll live a normal life again.' He clenched his fist tight, still holding my hands. A teardrop slid down my pale cheek. Neji wiped it away, he let go off my hands.

'Sakura, I know the feeling. I've been through the same pain when Neji was in the hospital. But thanks to you, and only you, he is here right now safe and sound. You are stronger than you think you are. People admire you more than you can imagine. You are an example for every woman. So, don't let anything break you. Crying doesn't mean being weak, it means being strong enough to show your emotions. And always remember, we're still there for you. And we will… forever…' she sat next to me and hugged me tight. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream out the whole pain, I wanted to give up, I wanted to run away from my own life, from my fate… form everything. But I knew I couldn't. There were people who needed me. Ten-Ten was right: I didn't have a choice: I had to keep breathing.

The car stopped. Neji got out first and opened the door for us. Ten-Ten had fixed my make-up by then and I looked like nothing ever happened. Suddenly, I felt my heart skip a beat. All the people I loved and admired were here. My childhood friends and teachers; I felt like I was 7 again. I remembered the first day at Academy, the graduation, Kakashi-sensei's test, and our first mission as Team 7, Chuunin exam, Sasuke's disappearance, Naruto's 3 year training and my own with Lady Tsunade, a test from Kakashi-sensei again 3 years later, the beginning of the war… I smiled remembering the good old days. All of a sudden, I realized a terrifying thing: there weren't their relatives. But… they didn't have any. Nor Naruto or Sasuke had any family members the same with Kakashi-sensei. Some people, of course, were missing: we had lost them before or during the war: Asuma-Sensei…

_**A.N**_

_**Hey, how are you doing? I hope everything's excellent! **_

_**I apologize for not updating for a looooong time, but I'm back! **_

_**You might have noticed that this chapter is Sakura's point of view. The first one is reader's. **_

_**Please write a review if it won't bother you too much and tell me what you think!**_

_**Have a nice day! **___

_**Regards**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Warning!**_

_**Read this while listening to a sad song. I'm a horrible romantic and I can't write tragedies (or anything else) but to make it seem less terrible I recommend you:**_

_**FFH- Undone (or type Itachi-Love and Honor in YouTube and watch the video)**_

_**Emeli Sande- Read all about it (part lll)**_

_**The script- Hall of fame**_

_**Little Mix- Little me**_

_**Thank you for attention, I won't bother you anymore. **_

'Sakura-Chan! Wanna have a date tonight, at the Ichiraku Ramen?' a blonde little boy with a bright, encouraging smile was grinning widely at me, with his hands towards me, trying to reach me.

'Stop acting like an idiot, Dobe!' a raven-haired guy was standing next to the blond, with a serious face, glaring at the other boy.

'Are you ready for the next mission?' an older man yelled coming towards them. He was wearing a mask but you could see the happiness in his eyes.

'Hai!' both boys yelled suddenly and ran towards the man. They stopped and all three of them waved at me with huge smiles. All of a sudden, they turned away and started running. I wanted to yell so they would wait for me, but no sounds came out of my throat. So, I just watched them run. But something was gradually changing, the sunlight darkened and they're backs grew; like they've grown themselves. All of a sudden, they stopped with their backs towards me. They changed: their hair, clothes, even the air around them had changed. I felt so small and useless compared to them. The boy in the middle with raven hair began slowly walking away, into the void and started fading bit by bit, eventually his silhouette disappeared. I don't know why, but I felt something burning me from the inside, slowly eating me. Then, the man with white hair started vanishing and becoming a pale blur. I felt my heart being cut into hundred pieces. But the boy with blonde hair stood there, making me feel protected and safe. His whole body lightened up and shone with amazing enthusiasm and kindness. The boy turned around, he was still smiling but I saw the grief, sorrow and pain in the corners of his sapphire-color eyes. He raised his arm and put his thumb up; showing me it was all right. I slowly walked to him and raised my hand to catch his but all at once, he disappeared. The only light in my eyes was gone without a single sign or word. I looked around with my eyes filling with tears, it was dark and lonely. I was fading into oblivion, I knew it. I started running as fast as possible.

'Too late, Sakura… too late' I heard someone's soft voice telling me it's too late. 'Why are you in your clothes and lying on the floor anyways?' the voice asked, I was confused… What?

'Sakuuuuraaaaa…. Wake up, it's so late! It's time to get up!' a woman's voice rang in my ears. I opened my eyes.

'Oh yes… good morning…' I mumbled

'Not good morning, but good evening! It's 4.30 already! Have you stayed up again?' my mom, of course, who else? I don't have anyone left. And I guess that was just a dream, or a nightmare to be certain. Oh, no… not now, I can't let myself cry now! Mom won't understand me and will send me to the psychologist again! I don't need one…

Moving on…

'Sakura, your friends called. He wanted to know how you're doing.' Mom was sitting on my bed.

'Who was it?' I asked yawning and stretching.

'I think it was Hinata. She was stuttering and talking really quietly.'

'Yeah, that's surely Hinata.' I sat up, my head was dizzy and felt awfully heavy. 'I'll call her later.' my head was filling up with terrible memories.

_Inner self: Poor Hinata, she lost Naruto right after she confessed to him! I hope she's fine. I'm so selfish! I only thought about my own pain and didn't think how much others went through. She loved Naruto way more than me. I shall apologize…_

'Do you want me to bring you your breakfast here?' mom stood up and walked up to me.

'No… I'll have dinner, straight away. It's too late for breakfast. And I have to hurry up; I must be at the hospital at 6.'

Yeah, I almost forgot. I'm Sakura Haruno. I'm almost 19 and I am a professional medical ninja. I work at Hidden Leaf's hospital. Sometimes, I go on missions with groups as a medic, but that happens rarely, because as you might have noticed my team doesn't exist anymore. It's been a while since the war ended and things are going quite well for the village, but my agony and pain don't stop.

'Lady Tsunade said you can stay home this week, you worked too hard the other week.' My mom spoke in a voice, in which you speak to a 4 year old crying kid who won't shut up. I got furious: everyone- even my mom and Lady Tsunade- thought I was weak and wasn't able to get over the tragedy. In fact, I still haven't recovered but it doesn't mean everyone should treat me like a sick-in-the-head kid!

'It's okay.' I mumbled and rushed to my closet. 'I'll go.' I put on some clothes and stormed out of the room. I slid down the stairs and raged into the kitchen. I swallowed some food and pills and ran to the doorway.

DING, DONG! (Doorbell)

I opened the door. Neji and Ten-Ten were standing at the threshold. They were holding flowers and sweets. Both of them were wearing Black clothes.

'We're going to the funeral and thought, you might need a lift.' Neji said in a low, calm voice.

'Oh is already Tuesday?' I was shocked. I had been so worried and miserable that I was completely lost and didn't know what day it was. 'Oh, sure! Just give me a second!' I yelled, madly blushing I closed the door right in front of their faces and rushed upstairs. I put on my funeral dress, made my hair and put makeup; I grabbed my bag and the flowers and hurried back to the door. I opened the door fast and idiotically smiled at the pair.

'Sakura… are you okay?' Ten-Ten asked me nervously.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go.' I said and crossed the threshold. I was so anxious I had forgotten to prepare a speech. We sat in a car, a black limo actually. Ten-Ten and Neji sat together; I sat in front of them. My hands were sweating and I was rubbing them fretfully. My face was red and my whole body was burning, my blood was boiling inside of my veins and I heard my heart beating like a church bell.

'Sakura…' Ten-Ten whispered with her voice breaking and trembling. Her face was worried; her eyes were staring at me pitifully. A teardrop sparkled in the corners of her chocolate eyes. Her hair was done perfectly, her usual buns had turned into long, loose, thick, smooth coffee-colored locks; her make-up was natural and suited her ideally. A black, long dress was covering her high-heels, though the material was very thin and I could see her flawless, skinny legs. The dress had a décolleté, making her really attractive. Her outfit was completed with a very expensive bag and diamond earrings. I looked like a shade compared to her. I was wearing a short, black, sleeveless dress. It had a thin, almost unnoticeable belt. My hair was messy; I was wearing no accessories except a little black bag. I was wearing casual, black shoes without heels. Moreover, my make-up was a catastrophe: I had used too much lip-gloss, my mascara was awful and didn't suit me at all, I also messed up the eye-shadows and now they were dark green and put hastily in the wrong parts of my eyes. I looked like a tramp compared to Ten-Ten. Furthermore, she had a real gentleman on her side. Neji looked grand: a black suit and tie. His shirt was ironed idyllically; his golden watch was shining on his left wrist. His long hair was combed. Both of them were gorgeous. I looked at them with miserable eyes; I actually envied them. Though, I was really happy for them. I stared at them for a while. Then I lowered my eyes, I looked down at the floor. I thought about Sasuke. We could have been this way, too. We could have been a magnificent pair. We would love each other boundlessly. Tears rushed to my eyes, but I fought them and raised my head. I must not show people how broken I am, I'll show them how strong I am! I looked at Ten-Ten and smiled as brightly as I could. Ten-Ten leaned backwards and gasped quietly. Neji's confused face almost broke me but I held on. Suddenly, Neji leaned forward and took my hand in his. I almost exploded: Kakashi-Sensei had done the same before the war started. I almost felt him touching me and telling me it was going to be fine. All three of them used to tell me the same all the time. Only now I understood how much they cared and how they tried to protect me. They had always been trying to prevent me from danger or nervousness. I was always in their way, like a heavy baggage you have to carry everywhere and is just a useless nuisance but you have no choice but to carry it and –

'Sakura, I know what you're thinking.' Neji said in a strong voice, not letting go off my hand. 'But you're wrong. You're not worthless; you were a vital part of their lives. You were everything to them. And they would want you to be happy. They would want you to keep living and moving on. Naruto would have gone crazy if he found out you stopped living and were depressed because of him. And you know all of this better than me. I know you're strong, everyone knows. But even strong people have their limits. You know what Johnny Depp said?' he stopped as though waiting for an answer. I was silent, still looking down at the floor. 'He said: "People don't cry because they're weak, but because they've been strong for too long." Sometimes you must cry. It's the only way you can get over it someday. Maybe not today, not tomorrow but someday you'll live a normal life again.' He clenched his fist tight, still holding my hands. A teardrop slid down my pale cheek. Neji wiped it away, he let go off my hands.

'Sakura, I know the feeling. I've been through the same pain when Neji was in the hospital. But thanks to you, and only you, he is here right now safe and sound. You are stronger than you think you are. People admire you more than you can imagine. You are an example for every woman. So, don't let anything break you. Crying doesn't mean being weak, it means being strong enough to show your emotions. And always remember, we're still there for you. And we will… forever…' she sat next to me and hugged me tight. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream out the whole pain, I wanted to give up, I wanted to run away from my own life, from my fate… form everything. But I knew I couldn't. There were people who needed me. Ten-Ten was right: I didn't have a choice: I had to keep breathing.

The car stopped. Neji got out first and opened the door for us. Ten-Ten had fixed my make-up by then and I looked like nothing ever happened. Suddenly, I felt my heart skip a beat. All the people I loved and admired were here. My childhood friends and teachers; I felt like I was 7 again. I remembered the first day at Academy, the graduation, Kakashi-sensei's test, and our first mission as Team 7, Chuunin exam, Sasuke's disappearance, Naruto's 3 year training and my own with Lady Tsunade, a test from Kakashi-sensei again 3 years later, the beginning of the war… I smiled remembering the good old days. All of a sudden, I realized a terrifying thing: there weren't their relatives. But… they didn't have any. Nor Naruto or Sasuke had any family members the same with Kakashi-sensei. Some people, of course, were missing: we had lost them before or during the war: Asuma-Sensei…

_**A.N**_

_**Hey, how are you doing? I hope everything's excellent! **_

_**I apologize for not updating for a looooong time, but I'm back! **_

_**You might have noticed that this chapter is Sakura's point of view. The first one is reader's. **_

_**Please write a review if it won't bother you too much and tell me what you think!**_

_**Have a nice day! **___

_**Regards**_


End file.
